Baker Family Counseling, LLC
Founded in 2016
Karen Baluch, LPCC-S, LICDC
Certified EMDR Practitioner
Locations:
179 Broad Street, Conneaut, Ohio 44030
1418 W. 3rd Street, Ashtabula, Ohio 44004
440-487-7930 office
208-418-9051 fax
email: karen.baluch@bakerhealth.org
Kevin the Wise Westie -Learns to Stay Calm
Kevin was a fluffy, happy, and playful West Highland Terrier puppy! He loved chasing his tail, running through the yard, and barking at anything that caught his attention—even a leaf blowing in the wind.
But Kevin had a problem. He had a hard time managing his emotions.
When he got excited, he became so energetic that he couldn’t sit still. When he felt scared, worried, or upset, his little body would shake, and he would bark and yip until he was exhausted.
One sunny morning, Kevin’s owner, Ms. Lily, noticed that he was especially worked up. The mailman had just delivered the mail, and Kevin was still growling and bouncing in circles by the front window.
Ms. Lily knelt beside him and gently scratched behind his ears.
“Kevin, sweet boy,” she said. “I think it’s time you learn some skills that can help you stay calm.”
Ms. Lily had been learning about Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT. These skills help people manage strong emotions, and she thought they might help Kevin too.
“Let’s start with a skill called STOP,” she said.
Skill 1: STOP SKILL
Ms. Lily held up her hand.
“S stands for Stop.”
Kevin froze in place with one paw lifted in the air.
“T stands for Take a Step Back.”
She gently guided him backward. Kevin took a step and tilted his head, curious about what was happening.
“O stands for Observe.”
Ms. Lily pointed toward the window. Kevin looked outside and noticed that the mailman was already far down the street.
“And P stands for Proceed Mindfully.”
Kevin sniffed the air and realized there was no danger. Instead of barking, he calmly walked over to his bed and curled up.
Ms. Lily smiled.
“Good job, Kevin! You’re already learning.”
Skill 2: TIP SKILL
Later that afternoon, dark clouds rolled in and thunder rumbled across the sky.
BOOM!
Kevin jumped and raced under the kitchen table. His body trembled as the storm grew louder.
Ms. Lily sat beside him.
“Let’s use the TIP skill,” she said.
“T stands for Temperature.”
She wrapped a cool, damp towel around Kevin. The cool sensation helped his body relax.
“I stands for Intense Exercise.”
Ms. Lily grabbed Kevin’s favorite squeaky toy. Together, they played tug-of-war and chased each other around the living room. Soon, some of Kevin’s nervous energy began to fade.
“And P stands for Paced Breathing.”
Ms. Lily gently rubbed Kevin’s chest in slow, steady motions. Kevin matched her rhythm and began taking slower, deeper breaths.
The thunder still rumbled outside, but Kevin felt much calmer than before.
Skill 3: DEAR MAN SKILL
The next day, Kevin smelled something wonderful coming from the kitchen.
Ms. Lily was cooking chicken.
Kevin’s tail wagged so fast it looked like a blur. He jumped, barked, and spun in circles, hoping for a bite.
Ms. Lily laughed.
“Kevin, let’s practice asking for what you want using DEAR MAN.”
“D stands for Describe.”
Kevin sat down and gave a small bark, letting Ms. Lily know he wanted some chicken.
“E stands for Express.”
His wagging tail and eager eyes made it very clear how excited he was.
“A stands for Assert.”
Kevin gently placed a paw on Ms. Lily’s knee.
“R stands for Reinforce,” Ms. Lily explained. “When you ask calmly, good things happen.”
She showed him a tasty treat, and Kevin’s ears perked up.
“M stands for Mindful.”
Kevin focused his attention on Ms. Lily instead of jumping around.
“A stands for Appear Confident.”
He stood tall and proud.
“And N stands for Negotiate.”
Ms. Lily smiled and gave Kevin a small piece of chicken.
Success!
Kevin happily enjoyed his reward and trotted away.
Skill 4: RADICAL ACCEPTANCE SKILL
A few days later, rain poured from the sky.
Kevin was disappointed. Rainy weather meant no trip to the park.
He barked, whined, and pawed at the front door.
Ms. Lily sat beside him.
“Kevin, sometimes things don’t go the way we want,” she said. “That’s when we use Radical Acceptance.”
Kevin listened carefully.
“Radical Acceptance means accepting reality as it is, even when we don’t like it.”
Ms. Lily brought over a cozy blanket and one of Kevin’s favorite chew toys.
At first, Kevin frowned in his doggy way. But after a few minutes, he settled onto the blanket and began chewing happily.
The rain was still falling, but Kevin had stopped fighting something he couldn’t change.
A Wise Westie
Over the next several weeks, Kevin practiced his DBT skills every day.
He learned to pause before reacting.
He learned to notice what was happening around him.
He learned ways to calm his body when he felt scared or overwhelmed.
Soon, Kevin greeted the mailman with a wag instead of a growl. He stayed calm during storms and politely asked for treats instead of barking nonstop.
One sunny afternoon, Kevin trotted over to Ms. Lily and sat proudly in front of her. His chest was puffed out, and there was a thoughtful sparkle in his eyes.
Ms. Lily laughed and rubbed his ears.
“My wise little Westie,” she said. “Look at you—calm, cool, and collected.”
Kevin gave a happy bark and wagged his tail.
He had learned something important:
Even the most excitable pups can learn to handle big feelings with the right skills, a little practice, and maybe a treat or two along the way.
By Karen Baluch, LPCC-S, LMHC, LICDC
copyright pending
Meet Kevin, the playful Westie with some big emotions! Kevin learns to stay calm with DBT skills!
Read his story below….